Everyone wants to know how to be successful, but for some reason, the advice or steps never seem to resonate…so what does an unsuccessful person look like?
1. They go to bed late and sleep late.
2. They don’t like ‘to do’ lists.
3. They give the bare minimum at work believing (falsely) that they should always be making more, but not understanding that you make exactly what you are worth and not a penny more.
4. They depend on themselves for everything because “people will fail you, stab you in the back, and take the credit you deserve”. And God…he’s like the tooth fairy.
5. They are very critical.
6. They spend every penny they make + 20% and owe multiple banks to the tune of 22% interest on the money they should have never borrowed.
7. They have few friends and fewer that would come at 3 am in the morning at the drop of a hat.
8. They don’t like to read books but can spend hours upon hours reading social media.
9. They act awkward when someone compliments them.
10. They feel like the world owes them something and act accordingly.
While you were at my Sisters baby shower last weekend, I was driving your brother around where I grew up with my Dad in the passengers seat.
We were running late from dinner but Dad insisted, “No go ahead, he needs to see this (or something like that)”. So we did.
We started with our house out in the country where I lived from age 6-15. It was smaller than I remembered. Very unkept with trees and such. It was strange, seeing the place brought back (good) memories of my childhood. It wasn’t until this moment, I thought about how my own Mother (seemingly) liked alcohol more than me.
When we pulled out, Dad said, “Lets go to the trailer park”. I said, “No, we really need to go”. He said, “It will only take a few minutes”. So we drove there as well.
When we arrived, the original trailer, circa 1972 was gone, but a new(er) junky one was in its exact location. Your brother asked, “why would you live there and what was it like, etc.”? Dad said, “…because it was all we could afford”. Again, for me, good memories.
It was strange, until I was maybe 12 or 13 years old, I didn’t know we were that poor.
I am much older now, but I can still remember how hard everything was, especially getting through college, paying for it on my own. I read about how depressed kids are today and really don’t get it…or maybe I do. The thing is, when you are working 40 hours per week during school and 60 hours in the summers, you don’t have time to be depressed. It only happens when someone else is paying for you to sit in a coffee shop for hours with headphones on reading the poetry of those who were equally depressed.
We usually create our own misery.
As much as I don’t want you to have to struggle like I did, I equally want you to figure things out on your own, with guidance from me when you need it. It would be really easy to provide you with an easier life, and for the most part, you already have a big jump on me when I was your age…but the reason I talk to you about working hard all of the time now, is so when you are older you won’t have to.
When I meet younger people, what always stands out to me is their confidence. Their belief in themselves. Their purpose. You won’t get that from sitting at the coffee shop for days on end writing in a moleskin notebook about how depressed you are.
Confidence comes when you are working on something, knowing that the journey and the destination are of equal importance.
Gotta go. Love you,